A Q&A with Di Bei about her debut novel The Horse Ballerina

For this interview, Di and I met at Boise State University’s Student Union Building (SUB). Since it was nearing the end of the semester, we decided to grab a quick coffee at the Starbucks located inside. Right after sitting across from each other, we realized that this was the same spot, even the same respective seats, that we had chosen for our first meeting. It had taken place at the start of this semester. I had recently flown in from Pakistan to join the university’s MFA program as a first-year fiction candidate. Di was starting her second year. I knew she was an international student too, and I felt comforted. But upon meeting her, I was charmed by her enthusiasm, humor, and warmth. So conversing with her for the last time this semester, before I took off for Pakistan, and in the same place where I had first met her, felt like things had come full circle. Here I was—all set to conduct a Q&A about her debut novel, The Horse Ballerina, which was recently published in China.

Aamir: You wrote your first novel in Chinese. What is it about?

Bei: It is a Young Adult novel about a fourteen-year old professional ballerina who breaks her ankle. She later comes to America from China, and becomes passionate about horse racing. So it is a story about horses and a ballerina—The Horse Ballerina. There are scenes in it that depict the shooting of her old horse. And she is a lot like me in that she grew up training as a dancer, and later came to America for undergraduate studies. There is a white horse in the novel called “Romeo.” I had a white horse called “Romeo” in my freshman year too.

Aamir: Did real events inspire you to write the story?

Bei: I would say it is based fifty percent on reality, and fifty percent on plot. I didn’t break my ankle like the ballerina did. But I did come to America and become passionate about horse racing.

Aamir: What do you mean when you say “fifty percent plot?”

Bei: The rest of the fifty percent was inspired by Virginia’s environment—I did my undergrad in Virginia at Randolph College. So the environment there, the seasons, and people’s accents all influenced my writing.

Aamir: I am amazed at how you managed to publish so early on in your writing career. How did you manage to do that?

Bei: I won a short story writing competition in my sophomore year of undergrad, which allowed me to go on an internship in Shanghai during the summer of my Junior year. That experience definitely helped.

Aamir: How did you manage to juggle your undergraduate studies with writing the novel?

Bei: Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night, at three a.m., and jot an idea down. But I disciplined myself to make sure I wrote a thousand words everyday for four or five months. It wasn’t easy. I was applying to grad schools, and I was involved in dance at my college. After writing the novel, I felt depleted. I am never doing that again. But I’m grateful, especially for my editor, Huo Dan, who would give me honest feedback. I would send her my work everyday, and she would reply with notes that were oftentimes brutal. She is now one of my best friends in China.

Aamir: How did you find Huo Dan?

Bei: She came to me after reading the short story that had won the competition in my sophomore year. I got lucky.

Aamir: Would you consider translating The Horse Ballerina into English?

Bei: No. If I write in English, I think in English. If I write in Chinese, I think in Chinese. I am aiming for two different audiences.

Aamir: Would you want someone else to translate it?

Bei: Totally. If someone else can do it, great. I took a translation class here, and found out that translating is underrated. It is difficult work, and I have a lot of appreciation for translators.

Aamir: What is your writing process?

Bei: When I was writing The Horse Ballerina I knew nothing about novels. I was just pouring out words on the page without any knowledge of what structure, plot, or craft were. I got a lot of feedback from my editor, but I finished that novel in great agony. I wish I had known then all that I have come to learn in this program. I don’t think you can be taught talent. But if you have it, you can definitely be taught how best to utilize it.

Aamir: What is the writing process now that you are enrolled in an MFA program?

Bei: I make myself sit down to write. There’s no specific time of the day that I prefer. The process is a lot like dance. When I choreograph dances here, I give my peers an opening scene. Sometimes I give them an ending. And later, I fill in other details. I do the same with my writing.

Aamir: What is next for you?

Bei: The Horse Ballerina is part of a trilogy. I have written two other books as part of the series. They are each separate stories, but all of them fall under the category of a study abroad experience. One novel is about a blackmarket for undergraduate essays, the other is about one girl being gaslighted by her classmates. But the publishing for these two novels has been delayed until the summer of next year.

Aamir: What are the differences, for you, between writing in English and Chinese? Do you prefer one language over the other?

Bei: It depends on the context I am trying to express. But after all this experience, I have realized that even though the tools may be different, the core of my stories is the same.

Aamir: Okay, but what language do you dream in?

Bei: It depends on who I’m talking to in the dream. I see different perspectives in the two languages. There is a theory which states that you channel different personalities when you speak different languages. For example, I find it easy to make small talk in Chinese, but if I had to criticize a friend I would much rather do it in English. Criticism in Chinese would sting more.

Aamir: Do you ever worry about your future now that you have committed to writing full-time?

Bei: My writing professor during my undergrad told me how there is something beautiful about the starving artist. How the artist manages to survive on passion alone. I’m paraphrasing—his original words were better. But let me give you a dance analogy: I often have bruises from dancing, but when I am on stage I am so consumed by my passion, I cannot feel any pain. It is the same with writing.

***

Mahrukh Aamir is a first-year MFA candidate at Boise State University where she also serves as an editorial assistant for The Idaho Review.

Di Bei is a second-year MFA candidate at Boise State University where she also serves as an editorial assistant for The Idaho Review. Author of the novel, The Horse Ballerina, her work has also appeared in The Masters Review.